The inside of a heart.

I wish that I could write all of the emotions that I am currently feeling.

I am an emotional time bomb that is about to explode.

The anger I have been holding in for so long is just begging to come out.

The grief is just clawing at my soul.

The happiness is absent.

I just want to claw my eyes out.

If there was anyway that I could let it out but not seriously injure any individual,

I would do it.

Sign me up...

How to become great.

Greatness, how do you achieve such a high role. How do I become someone that people call great? I want to be great but I know that it is just not really possible with how I love my life. I had this seminary teacher last year who taught me something that I took it as false doctorine. "If you mess up in life, like have sex before marriage, or look at porn, or smoke, or drink, etc. then your life will not reach it's highest potential. Even if you repent" I took that as it was a load of crap! But now I can see what he is saying. He is saying that if we do that then we are losing our innocence and we will end up going down a different path than we were on not that it's a bad one! But it's just not the perfect one. You know what I'm saying? Well I have thought of a plan of steps to stay on track with our lives. 

1- listen to your parents: they know what's best for you, trust them.

2- listen to your teachers/religious organization: they are there to help you achieve greatness in life.

3- believe in your gut: if you feel like you shouldn't do something, don't do it. Because it's probably now what you should be doing.

4- stay out of situations that will tempt you to cross the boundaries you shouldn't cross.

5- do service: I think doing service is one of the most important things you could do. If you are screwing up, by helping others out makes it so you; 1. Can feel better about yourself, 2. Show god that you want to be a good person. 

I personally believe that by doing these things you will be able to not only help your own life, but help those around you whether you realize it or not. 

Peace. 

Manchester black

It is what it is.

Opening up.

How do you know how to open up to people? 

When do you know if it's appropriate to open up? 

How do you know if you have a good enough relationship to open up?

I tend to find myself opening up to people I shouldn't be. Like I think I have a good enough relationship with them, but I don't have one at all. I guess I'm just a trusting person. That's a blessing and a curse..sometimes I just trust everyone and then someone lets me down and loses my trust..then I start to question all of my relationships....

Ahhh life is hard. There is just so much expected of me that I don't know what to do! Idk it just sucks.

I think that the way you can tell if it is appropriate to open up to someone is to test them. Like tell them little things that don't really matter, And see if they tell people. That way you can establish a foundation of trust. Then you can start telling them stuff. 

This is a really personal thing, knowing if you can tell someone something. Like you will just have to know, no one can tell you how to do this but yourself. I'm sorry that I can't help but it is what it is.

I'm tired.

Peace.

Manchester black

Utah

Utah.

He played where light on the vast coast

Wanted to finally visit Utah.

Hydrogen peroxide.

Can we be friends? 

Do you want to play?

 Why don't you like me?

 Let's be best friends?

 Come over here?

 I wanna play with you...

get in my van. 

Well.....that escalated quickly....I bet when you were reading that you were thinking its kids asking eachother to play and stuff. But no, your wrong. It's a sex drivin creep who is trying to get with a little kid...

 As much as we all try to deny it, there are actually people like this. Our society is corrupt. For some reason people think it is okay to get with younger people. But it's sooo wrong! But for some reason, it's okay in certain ways......for example:

"My husband and I are madly in love and we are just so excited to be together! We are going down to his yacht this weekend then following that we are going to one of his 200 houses around the world!!

For my 23 birthday we are going to go up to the space station!!!:) I have always wanted to go to the space station! Just to be in the unforgiving space, would be amazing:) 

My husband turns 74 this month....." 

Are you kidding me!? A beautiful young woman is married to an old rich hag?? What is wrong with society!?!? When she was born, he was 51...when she was in highschool he was 68....imagine marrying someone as old as your grand parents.. How has this become accepted? That is no different from a creepy pedophile...so if they get married its all of the sudden okay? 

I don't know...I guess I just don't understand anyone ha. I will be the different one. Maybe one day I will start a movement to end this madness! 

But probably not...that takes courage that I don't have...it takes bravery...

I care too much about what people think about me. I find myself always trying to please everyone. 

I need to break out of my shell...I need to evolve into a "beautiful butterfly"...I need to let go of my pride and live! JUST LIVE!!

But as of right now...I'm a coward...I'm scared....I'll just stay in my shell...turn the lights out....say my prayers....

Goodnight.

-Manchester Black

Life is full of surprises

Life's seasons.

I think about you...

Like grass thinks about growing,

Like wind thinks about flowing,

Like girls think about...........boys.

I'm thinking about you...

Like phones think about ringing,

Like birds think about singing,

Like dogs think about.......peeing.

I'm thinking about you...

Like clocks think about ticking,

Like lips think about licking,

Like toilets think about......poop.

I'm thinking about you...

Like athletes think about games,

Like boys think they have..game,

Like blacks think we're the....same..? (That was very racist, I'm sorry)

I'm thinking about you...

Like pencils think about writing,

Like nails think about biting,

Like ropes think about tightening

I'm thinking about you...

Like ladies think about boys,

Like men think about toys.

I'm thinking about you...

Like teachers think about teaching,

Like preachers think about preaching 

Like kneaders thinks about....French toast..

I'm thinking about you...

Like winter thinks about snowing,

Like like Mexicans think about mowing.

I think about you..

-Manchester black 

Perfect balance

I don't know how to forgive...I like to think I do, but I know that I cannot. Forgiving others is not something I am good at...but I have the desire to forgive them. I don't think that means anything but who knows? Maybe it does.

The hardest person for me to forgive is me. I find it impossible for me to forgive myself. I always end up hating myself for all that I have done. Even though I have been forgiven by others and god, I find it soo hard to forgive myself.

I have always been taught to forgive and forget. I think I have forgiven myself a couple of times, but I can't seem to forget about what I have done. I need to get to the point that all that matters is that I have a balanced life, between tight jeans, any clothing, shoes, 

We all need to find that perfect balance In life because....